Your Future Spouse (Part 9) - Roundup

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JMJ

This is ... I think the final article in this series ... at least for now.  If something else comes up I will add and update.

First, the characteristics that I mentioned in earlier articles are not necessarily exclusion criteria - for example someone may come from a broken home. This means you need to probe further and before making a choice.

You can try the seminary or convent, but your can't 'try' a Catholic marriage.

Second, I have been dividing the characteristics in a new way using Herzberg's Two-Factor motivational theory ... because the factors have cute names: Hygiene and motivational factors.



Two-factor theory distinguishes between:

• Motivators (e.g. challenging work, recognition for one's achievement, responsibility, opportunity to do something meaningful, involvement in decision making, sense of importance to an organization) that give positive satisfaction, arising from intrinsic conditions of the job itself, such as recognition, achievement, or personal growth

• Hygiene factors (e.g. status, job security, salary, fringe benefits, work conditions, good pay, paid insurance, vacations) that do not give positive satisfaction or lead to higher motivation, though dissatisfaction results from their absence. The term "hygiene" is used in the sense that these are maintenance factors. These are extrinsic to the work itself, and include aspects such as company policies, supervisory practices, or wages/salary. Herzberg often referred to hygiene factors as "KITA" factors, which is an acronym for "kick in the ass", the process of providing incentives or threat of punishment to make someone do something. (Wikipedia)

In the search for a spouse, the hygiene factors are the baseline that needs to be present or at least addressed before going to the next stage.  For example: Traditional Catholic for x years, strong family life, good and NORMAL relationships with parents and siblings, parents happily married with a good Catholic relationship, stable job / career.

These are the bare hygiene factors, I may refine it later....

The motivators

What are factors that would be additional 'factors' for marriage?

At its foundation it is about the practice of virtue and the "artifacts" attached to them.  Catholic Education, knowledge and experience, a balanced personality. Tack on to that alignment of character, advanced education, etc.

Look at the previous articles on this topic.

Additional, resources would include the Catholic Family Manual, Catholic Marriage Manual (tried and true).  A more recent set of  resources would be the books written by Stephen Wood.

• The ABCs of Choosing A Good Husband
• The ABCs of Choosing A Good Wife

 The key is to be patient and pray and listen to good advice from experienced people, priests, married couples, siblings etc.  The more people you pool into your "council" the better.

P^3