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JMJ

This is a general help to working in an virtual world ... for the record I came to the following realization 2+ years ago - well before COVID.

So, how did I come by this approach ...

I was involved in a conflict resolution / negotiation between two organizations and the emails were flying back and forth between the sides.

It was a death spiral for a relationship already in tatters.

I was in a hotel room when I received one of the inflammatory emails.

But this time something changed ...

After reading the first few words ... not even a whole sentence, I felt myself getting angry.

I stopped reading and set it aside to go to a meeting with my colleagues. There was talk about the latest email and it wasn't good.

Over the next few days I picked up the letter several times between meetings, got angry and set it down.

Each time I made it a little further.

When I finally read the letter through in its entirety, I paused ... read it again ... and noticed a phrase that could be interpreted as a concession by our counterparts.

This was a breakthrough for the negotiations.

There were 10 other people reading the email and no one else noticed the ambiguous phrase.

It was also a breakthrough for me.

Stopping when I am aware of an emotional trigger is my new super power.

It helps me to put some objectivity space between myself and the words on the paper or screen.

Summary

Be aware when a communication (written, verbal, non-verbal) causes an emotional response. This can be anger, confusion, sadness and even happiness.
Set it aside for a period of time commensurate with the degree of emotional response you feel. The stronger the emotion, the longer the time.
After cooling off, re-read it or replay it in your mind. If you get emotionally triggered again, go to step 2.
Reflection

For written communications read it through in its entirety- pause for a minute and then rinse and repeat! Black out the zero-content words & phrases (I sometimes take a marker and block them out) and look for the key content.
For verbal / non-verbal communications, think them through and think about why you had the emotional response, what exactly evoked it and (most importantly) what did you do / say that may caused them to react?

Take Action

Written Comms: Write a careful response looking at the key elements.
Verbal /Non-Verbal: Be aware of your triggers and emotional state. Think in advance how you will handle and re-direct the trigger.

Conclusion

We are all susceptible to emotional triggers that cause us to react instead of respond. The more we are unaware of our emotional state, the more we can be manipulated by people adept at such maneuvers.

So, be aware of your emotions, be wary of your reaction. Your emotions are telling you that something in your sub-conscious has recognized a pattern. You need to check if there is a rational foundation (ie.think principles).

It is important to pause and reflect, in this age of immediate gratification, we are too quick and react poorly.

P^3

Comments

The myth of the Hermeneutic of Continuity - Rorate Caeli

+ JMJ Interestingly the complete acceptance of the Second Vatican Council (without reservations) is required of the SSPX. Just when people are starting to wonder how it came to this! Courtesy of Rorate Caeli P^3

A Look Back: Archbishop Lefebvre’s Prophetic Address to The Remnant, 1976

+ JMJ Looking back is important to understand why we are where we are in this crisis. Courtesy of RemnantNewsPaper P^3 FOR THE FIRST TIME ONLINE: Archbishop Lefebvre’s Prophetic Address to The Remnant, 1976 Written by Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre Introduction by Michael J. Matt More than forty years ago—during the disastrous reign of Pope Paul VI, the latest candidate for a Vatican-issued Halo Award, by the way—my father, Walter L. Matt, organized the first large scale public reception in the U.S. for the late Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre. It was held at the Radisson South Hotel, Minneapolis, on Tuesday, May 12, 1976, and its stated purpose was to assist the Archbishop in gaining a stronger foothold for the Society of St. Pius X in the States during the unprecedented crisis Blessed Pope Paul had helped unleash on the Church. On that occasion Archbishop Lefebvre delivered ...

Of the Church and the Pope - Fr. Calmel O.P.

+ JMJ Once again, looking back to see if the 'Traditional Catholics' in the early days of this crisis of the Church had a sufficient view to realize the roots of the crisis. The root: The Pope Hence when the Pope is 'righted' the Church will be 'righted'. P^3 Courtesy of SSPXasia Fr. Roger Calmel, O.P. This essay by Fr. Roger Calmel, O.P. (1914-75) helps us in these difficult times to preserve our love of the Church. More than 30 years after its first publication, this article retains all its relevance, so much so that it even seems to have been written for our time, in which the crisis in the Church deepens at an unprecedented pace. This essay will help the reader to think clearly, keep the Faith, and maintain serenity in the troubled times we are navigating. “My country has hurt m e,”wrote a young poet in 1944 during the purge 1 when the head of state [Charles De Gaulle] implacably pursued the sinister job that had been in the wo...

Canonical Mission and State of Emergency - A Response to Mr. John Salza - Part B

+ JMJ I was trying to think of a way to map out the time course I discussed in Part A of this article. Early this morning it came to me that this is more about obedience and duty than canon law. As is my wont, I mapped out my thoughts (see image) to draw linkages between the core concepts. My conclusion is that, at least subjectively, Archbishop Lefebvre had sufficient information to make good decisions concerning whether or not he was obliged to obey. I know that the Jesuits, some Sedevacantists and the priests that left over the years will not agree with my thoughts. So be it. The core pieces of information include: Attacks against the SSPX were launched because they kept the Tridentine Mass and the pre-conciliar understanding of the Truths of the Faith. The authorities in the Church were willing to go against the laws of the Church. The same authorities encouraged the various dangers to the Faith embedded in popular interpretations of ambiguo...

Validity of new rite of episcopal consecrations - Courtesy of SSPX.org

+ JMJ In the blogosphere there are number of responses to this crisis in the Catholic Church that lead to conclusions that run counter to Catholic Doctrine and Dogmas - if taken to their logical conclusion. The validity of the New Rite of Episcopal consecrations is one such hotspot within more extreme sections of the 'traditionalist' culture. Validity of new rite of episcopal consecrations Courtesy of SSPX.org Why the new rite of episcopal consecration is valid Introduction This comprehensive study was compiled to settle a debate that has been circulating in traditional Catholic circles. Some writers have examined the new rite of episcopal consecration and concluded that it must be invalid. Since this would cause manifest problems if it were true and due to the heightened awareness of such a theory, we present a study of this question concluding that it is valid. Following the Council, in 1968 a new rite for the ordination of bishops was promulg...

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