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Your Future Spouse (Part 6) - Narcissism and Mental Illness Revisited

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JMJ

I realised that I missed a couple facets of narcissists and want to address that short coming.

First, prospects who have this problem (and it is a problem) are normally very charismatic and charming. They can be enthralling story tellers, the life of the party etc.

... they are also adept as telling half-truths and lies. So if a person tells you fantastic stories about themselves that capture your imagination - perhaps you should step back and look at this critically.

This is why it is very important to be aware of and explore the characteristics of a prospect in detail.  I've heard it said, Catholics can try the Seminary or Religious Life, but CANNOT try the married life.

Second, mental health, especially in this day and age is a factor to consider.  The pressures and stressors of modern western culture are significant and in my experience, these act as triggers or enhancers for mental health issues.

Catholic married life has enough stressors that avoiding a partner with a mental health issue is not cruel but prudent.

One other aspect is that there is a difference between an eccentricity and a mental health issue. For example, a person may be sensitive and have low self-esteem because of their background and how they grew up.  They may be able to grow beyond this ... because everyone has eccentricities.  It is only when these adversely affect their ability to function in society that they are really a problem.

So, while narcissitic sociopathy should disqualify a prospect, eccentricities should not.

A friend read part 4 of this series and had some germane comments (edited for brevity):

I feel people are starting to apply narcissism to everything and everyone. I think it's starting to lose its mean. There is so much of narcissism material/youtube/etc.... that I wonder who is the narcissist and who is the victim. The new modernist ideas about morals and the break down of the family all goes hand in hand. So relating it back to finding a Catholic Spouse it will become harder and harder to find people that are not narcissistic because our society will be conditioning people to behave that way. So looking at the foundation/environment that the person is raised will be a factor of consideration when considering a Catholic spouse.
Narcissism falls under Cluster B Personality Disorder: "Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder."     ( Sources: Mayo Clinic, Mental Help: Ten-personality-disorders-clusters). People with narcissism can have more then one of the cluster B personality traits. People with Cluster B personality disorder medication will not help .... only cognitive behavior therapy will help and this only if the person wants to help themselves. Cluster B Personality Disorder can go along with Cluster A and C Personality Disorder traits too.   Such as Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal  anxious, fearful thinking or behavior, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
Sum everything up when looking for a spouse considering the persons mental facilities/health is a must!!! To point out narcissism is good but we should not over look the main issue.... The persons mental health stability overall.
So, I hope this helps!

P^3

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