Skip to main content

Your Future Spouse (Part 3) Justice

Image
By
+
JMJ

Asking the two question from Part 2 are probably easier than answering them ...

As a quick refresher, the two questions were:
  1. Man asks: Is this a woman that I can love above myself, can I nourish her (I don't mean just with the basics of life) and cherish her?
  2. Woman asks: Is this a man to whom I can respect and honour enough to willingly submit? 
 I believe the key will be to understanding the level of virtue that each prospective spouse possesses. (NB. from this point I'm going to list the 'prospective souse' as 'propect' ... a little sales lingo, but I don't have time to think of a better label.)

My study of the virtues culminated in this article, and I think the first place to plumb the depths is their relationship with their parents and siblings.

This falls squarely under the virtue of Justice and we can expand on it.

Justice is basically giving everyone what they deserve. A quick aside, not what we think they deserve... but what they deserve - because of their relationship with the 'prospect'.

Hints and Thoughts

  • Principle: 
    • In watching the person do they demonstrate a sense of Justice, giving what respect people deserve because of their relationship with them?
  • Religion: 
    • What is their demeanour at Mass?  
    • Do they go to the Traditional Mass?  
    • Do they have a grasp of the difference between the Novus Ordo Missae (NOM) and the Traditional Missae?  
    • Can they understand and come to the realisation that the orientation of the NOM is man and therefore not giving its due to God?
  • Piety: 
    • What are their attitude and actions like to their country and even more importantly towards their parents? 
    • Did they have a good relationship with their parents?  
    • Are they the children of divorce?  
    • How is their relationship with the parent who did not have primary custody?  
    • How about their relationship with the parent who had primary custody?  
    • Do they have an obsession with blaming one of the parents?  
    • Do they have to bring up some tragedy in every conversation? 
    • Is every conversation drawn towards the challenges that they have faced and overcome?  (more on this later in the series ... if I remember). 
    •  Do they respect parents because they are their parents ... or because they were 'nice' to them.  
    • Nota Bene: This is all incredibly important because if they come from a broken home where there was huge (or even moderate strife) they will probably have a malformed notion of what it takes to be a good husband / wife.  
    • Caveat Emptor: Tread very carefully if the prospect doesn't have a solid family experience either through the early death of a parent or divorce.
  • Gratitude
    • Are they grateful for what they have received, understanding that God has ultimately given them everything as a free gift?
    • Nota Bene: As noted in this article on gratitude, a Traditional Catholic who isn't grateful for the free gift granted by God will, probably, at some point become bitter and discontented.  Their 'Traditionalism' isn't built upon humility, but ultimately pride.  Watch out because this can lead to a particuluar narrowing of perspective which is worse than blindness because they will only see what is right in front of them (figuratively where they want to look).
  • Liberality
    • Are they generous of spirit? This is important because being a parent requires generosity!
  • Affability
    • Do they treat all people with the same kindness and respect?  This is where it is important to watch how they interact with other people, who they favour with their attention, who the ignore etc.
Ok so this looks like it is negative ... and it is.  Why?  Because the absence of virtue is more important that its presence.  A person can grow in virtue, but if the prospect has significant issues with any of these virtues, then tread lightly and carry a big Crucifix in front of which to pray if you've developed an attachment to this person. 

Steal yourself to make a big sacrifice for the right reasons, and discuss your observations with someone wise who you respect and trust.  Someone who has been married for a number of year with a number of children would be a good bet ... obviously your parents are a good point.  Additional counselors are also good because your parents may be biased in some ways and a 4th party may help to bring perspective to the ruminations.

P^3








Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Father, Should I Attend That Mass?" Advice on Attending Non-SSPX Latin Masses

By
 + JMJ I see that the 'resistors' are in a tizzy because Fr. Robinson used them as an example instead of the sedevacantists. What is interesting is that you can apply the exact same reasons against going to a sede mass as that of the 'resistors'. Namely: On the other extreme are those situations where an SSPX priest knows that a certain non-SSPX traditionalist venue is a grave danger to the faith . Frankly, most, if not all, of the Resistance Masses would fall into this category. In many cases, the behavior of these priests has been and continues to be scandalous, by their (A) spirit, their (B) preaching, and their indiscriminate conferral of the (C) priesthood and (D) episcopacy. To attend a Mass with such ongoing scandals poses a serious danger to the souls of the faithful. Yep, looking at A,B,C and D the shoe fits. On this basis the "resistors" = "sedevacantists". P^3 Courtesy of SSPX.org   A companion article to a recent "Questions with ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Correcting Caricatures of the SSPX

By
 + JMJ Introduction First, a little background on the FSSP St. John Vianney Chapel in Mission Hill Kansas.  After the 1988 consecrations and the foundation of the FSSP there was a consistent trend of Dioceses allowing the SSPX to run chapels and churches near SSPX locations. As with any 'organizational change' there were those who didn't agree with the change and no longer sought the sacraments from the SSPX. I heard from friends that in that era there was a lot of anger and tension (on both sides) between the St. Mary's SSPX and Mission Hill FSSP.  Second, there have been caricatures of the SSPX position (some are evident below) in which personal opinions of SSPX priests and laity are taken as the official position or conflated with those of sedevacantists or 'resistance'. Recent Perspectives of the SSPX Position In the shadow of the consecrations a fever pitch accusations and opinions how surfaced - many of which include caricatures of the SSPX positions, of w...
Post a Comment
Read more

SSPX: Why Is the SSPX So Criticized?

By
 + JMJ As long as you are ok with what happens in other Catholic Churches, Traditional Catholics will be left 'alone'.  This is a paraphrase of words spoken by an Archbishop to Traditional Catholics (with a sprinkling of SSPX) who had requested the Traditional Latin Mass under Summorum Pontificum. This reflects that attitude of the Church towards anyone who takes issue with some of the ambiguities of Vatican II and the post-conciliar magisterium.  If you reject the papacy but are ok with V2, the New Mass, and what Rome has stated since 1965 - then you are welcome. Question some of the more abiguous statements and ask for Rome to realise that a circle is not a square - then you are in for a world of hurt. This is where the SSPX exists and has existed from almost its very first moments. Pointing out contradictions with previous magisterium is not acceptable - under any condition. Why? Because it will cause the whole V2 house of cards to fall. I guess only when the contradic...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stories: Early Days of Tradition Part 8 - Convention Centre Chapel

By
 + JMJ I came to Tradition a few years after they had bought a chapel. My wife told me of the earlier years when Fr. Normandin would come to town and Mass would be held in a room at the convention centre.  He'd start by blessing the room and then proceed with Mass. This went on for a while before the one of the faithful found a small hall that would suit just fine. They pooled their money and bought the building.  Then came the work as the retiree's refinished the floor, setup the sactuary. Oh, did I mention that I heard that the hall had been used by a motorcycle gang? The floor needed a lot of work.  I remember seeing pictures of the founders working to make the hall into a fitting place for the Sacrifice of the Mass. That little chapel would be a refuge like many others serviced by Fr. Normandin.  From Thunderbay, Ontrario to Nanaimo, British Columbia - the SSPX chapels are all the results of Fr. Normandin's missionary work in those desperate times. Without h...
Post a Comment
Read more

How many more must die for the throne? or How to combat FUD!

By
 + JMJ How many more must die for the throne? (Movie Quote: Prince Caspian) The Spread of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt I've seen a lot of FUD spreading across the intergnat on various stats etc.   So let's put this in context ... especially the perspective of those people in positions of authority who need to make decisions to protect the lives of their citizens. Yep, this is going to be that type of post.  Like it or not the leaders of our governments have their authority from God.  So, as Catholics should know, you need to have a very good reason to deliberately disobey the orders of their superiors. This is basic St. Thomas Aquinas ... so don't blame me for discussing things from a Catholic perspective. The leaders of our countries have taken action to protect the vulnerable of our countries.   As much as the young and not-so-young may whine and complain - I have to ask how many more of our elderly have to die? What the armchair virologists and ec...
10 comments
Read more