Your Future Spouse (Part 3) Justice

JMJ

Asking the two question from Part 2 are probably easier than answering them ...

As a quick refresher, the two questions were:

Man asks: Is this a woman that I can love above myself, can I nourish her (I don't mean just with the basics of life) and cherish her?

Woman asks: Is this a man to whom I can respect and honour enough to willingly submit?

I believe the key will be to understanding the level of virtue that each prospective spouse possesses. (NB. from this point I'm going to list the 'prospective souse' as 'propect' ... a little sales lingo, but I don't have time to think of a better label.)

My study of the virtues culminated in this article, and I think the first place to plumb the depths is their relationship with their parents and siblings.

This falls squarely under the virtue of Justice and we can expand on it.

Justice is basically giving everyone what they deserve. A quick aside, not what we think they deserve... but what they deserve - because of their relationship with the 'prospect'.

Hints and Thoughts

Principle:

In watching the person do they demonstrate a sense of Justice, giving what respect people deserve because of their relationship with them?

Religion:

What is their demeanour at Mass?
Do they go to the Traditional Mass?
Do they have a grasp of the difference between the Novus Ordo Missae (NOM) and the Traditional Missae?
Can they understand and come to the realisation that the orientation of the NOM is man and therefore not giving its due to God?

Piety:

What are their attitude and actions like to their country and even more importantly towards their parents?
Did they have a good relationship with their parents?
Are they the children of divorce?
How is their relationship with the parent who did not have primary custody?
How about their relationship with the parent who had primary custody?
Do they have an obsession with blaming one of the parents?
Do they have to bring up some tragedy in every conversation?
Is every conversation drawn towards the challenges that they have faced and overcome? (more on this later in the series ... if I remember).
Do they respect parents because they are their parents ... or because they were 'nice' to them.
Nota Bene: This is all incredibly important because if they come from a broken home where there was huge (or even moderate strife) they will probably have a malformed notion of what it takes to be a good husband / wife.
Caveat Emptor: Tread very carefully if the prospect doesn't have a solid family experience either through the early death of a parent or divorce.

Gratitude

Are they grateful for what they have received, understanding that God has ultimately given them everything as a free gift?
Nota Bene: As noted in this article on gratitude, a Traditional Catholic who isn't grateful for the free gift granted by God will, probably, at some point become bitter and discontented. Their 'Traditionalism' isn't built upon humility, but ultimately pride. Watch out because this can lead to a particuluar narrowing of perspective which is worse than blindness because they will only see what is right in front of them (figuratively where they want to look).

Liberality

Are they generous of spirit? This is important because being a parent requires generosity!

Affability

Do they treat all people with the same kindness and respect? This is where it is important to watch how they interact with other people, who they favour with their attention, who the ignore etc.

Ok so this looks like it is negative ... and it is. Why? Because the absence of virtue is more important that its presence. A person can grow in virtue, but if the prospect has significant issues with any of these virtues, then tread lightly and carry a big Crucifix in front of which to pray if you've developed an attachment to this person.

Steal yourself to make a big sacrifice for the right reasons, and discuss your observations with someone wise who you respect and trust. Someone who has been married for a number of year with a number of children would be a good bet ... obviously your parents are a good point. Additional counselors are also good because your parents may be biased in some ways and a 4th party may help to bring perspective to the ruminations.

P^3

Rome,the SSPX and this time of Crisis - Updated

+ JMJ Obviously there's lots of events right now. First we have the April 1st - I almost thought it was April Fools - meeting between Pope Francis and Bishop Fellay. Nothing really news worthy as this is a natural progression as Rome appears to be considering fulfilling Archbishop Lefebvre's wish to 'accept us as we are'. Second we have the April 8th publication of what will be a verbose exhortation of the Synod of the Family. I'm willing to bet that the Pope will give with one hand (unilateral regularization of SSPX) and take with the other (ambiguous document that opens the flood gates of sin further). Much to pray for. P^3

A Reply to Martin Blackshaw’s FLAWED Remnant article titled: FLAWED: SSPX Advice on Abortion-tainted Vaccines

+ JMJ An article has appeared in the Remnant (link to article) and I am afraid that there are a number of flaws in it that need to be addressed. The author, Martin Blackshaw, believes that both the Church and the SSPX are misapplying the principle of Moral Theology called 'Cooperation In Evil'. Unfortunately, Mr. Blackshaw rests most of his arguments on citing authors that support his position, without considering the possibility that they are wrong. This highlights a key factor in this crisis: ignorance of the faith and its application . I don't am not singling out Mr. Blackshaw for this criticism, I have observed that it applies to laity and religious, superior and subject a like. No one seems immune in this enduring crisis, myself included. I further believe that this ignorance is why so many Catholics, both traditional and non, rely on their gut feeling or "Catholic conscience" for charting their way through this crisis of the faith. While...

The Vatican and SSPX – An Organizational Culture Perspective

Introduction The recent and continuing interactions between the Vatican and the SSPX have been a great opportunity for prayer and reflection. The basis for the disagreement is theological and not liturgical. As noted by Dr. Lamont (2012), the SSPX theological position on the four key controversial aspects of the Second Vatican Council are base on prior theological work that resulted from relevant magisterial pronouncements. So it is difficult to understand the apparent rejection of the theological position of the SSPX.

SSPX and the Resistance - A Comparison Of Ecclesiology

Shining the light of Church Teaching on the doctrinal positions of the SSPX and the Resistance. Principles are guides used to aid in decision making. It stands to reason that bad principles will lead to bad decisions. The recent interactions between Rome and the SSPX has challenged a number of closely held cultural assumptions of people in both sides of the disagreement. This has resulted in cultural skirmishes in both Rome and the SSPX. Since it is the smaller of the two, the skirmishes have been more evident within the SSPX. The cultural fault-line that Bishop Fellay crossed appears to be linked to two points of Catholic Doctrine: Ecclesiology and Obedience. The cultural difference of view points is strong enough that it has resulted in the expulsion of a number of members. It should also be noted that some other priests expelled since the beginning of the latest interactions (starting in 2000) held the same view points and have joined with the l...

Rome and the SSPX - the latest

+ JMJ Bishop Fellay gave a conference late last month and provided some more insight into the situation with Rome. There are comments on Deus Ex Machina Blog and Hilary White has now entered the fray. What is one Catholic to think about all these opinions? What a Catholic is to think: With the Church! What does the Church think about obedience? Virtue as it is? If there is no proximate occasion of sin and the other conditions are met, then one cannot resist the command.

Tradicat

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