Your Future Spouse (Part 3) Justice

JMJ

Asking the two question from Part 2 are probably easier than answering them ...

As a quick refresher, the two questions were:

Man asks: Is this a woman that I can love above myself, can I nourish her (I don't mean just with the basics of life) and cherish her?

Woman asks: Is this a man to whom I can respect and honour enough to willingly submit?

I believe the key will be to understanding the level of virtue that each prospective spouse possesses. (NB. from this point I'm going to list the 'prospective souse' as 'propect' ... a little sales lingo, but I don't have time to think of a better label.)

My study of the virtues culminated in this article, and I think the first place to plumb the depths is their relationship with their parents and siblings.

This falls squarely under the virtue of Justice and we can expand on it.

Justice is basically giving everyone what they deserve. A quick aside, not what we think they deserve... but what they deserve - because of their relationship with the 'prospect'.

Hints and Thoughts

Principle:

In watching the person do they demonstrate a sense of Justice, giving what respect people deserve because of their relationship with them?

Religion:

What is their demeanour at Mass?
Do they go to the Traditional Mass?
Do they have a grasp of the difference between the Novus Ordo Missae (NOM) and the Traditional Missae?
Can they understand and come to the realisation that the orientation of the NOM is man and therefore not giving its due to God?

Piety:

What are their attitude and actions like to their country and even more importantly towards their parents?
Did they have a good relationship with their parents?
Are they the children of divorce?
How is their relationship with the parent who did not have primary custody?
How about their relationship with the parent who had primary custody?
Do they have an obsession with blaming one of the parents?
Do they have to bring up some tragedy in every conversation?
Is every conversation drawn towards the challenges that they have faced and overcome? (more on this later in the series ... if I remember).
Do they respect parents because they are their parents ... or because they were 'nice' to them.
Nota Bene: This is all incredibly important because if they come from a broken home where there was huge (or even moderate strife) they will probably have a malformed notion of what it takes to be a good husband / wife.
Caveat Emptor: Tread very carefully if the prospect doesn't have a solid family experience either through the early death of a parent or divorce.

Gratitude

Are they grateful for what they have received, understanding that God has ultimately given them everything as a free gift?
Nota Bene: As noted in this article on gratitude, a Traditional Catholic who isn't grateful for the free gift granted by God will, probably, at some point become bitter and discontented. Their 'Traditionalism' isn't built upon humility, but ultimately pride. Watch out because this can lead to a particuluar narrowing of perspective which is worse than blindness because they will only see what is right in front of them (figuratively where they want to look).

Liberality

Are they generous of spirit? This is important because being a parent requires generosity!

Affability

Do they treat all people with the same kindness and respect? This is where it is important to watch how they interact with other people, who they favour with their attention, who the ignore etc.

Ok so this looks like it is negative ... and it is. Why? Because the absence of virtue is more important that its presence. A person can grow in virtue, but if the prospect has significant issues with any of these virtues, then tread lightly and carry a big Crucifix in front of which to pray if you've developed an attachment to this person.

Steal yourself to make a big sacrifice for the right reasons, and discuss your observations with someone wise who you respect and trust. Someone who has been married for a number of year with a number of children would be a good bet ... obviously your parents are a good point. Additional counselors are also good because your parents may be biased in some ways and a 4th party may help to bring perspective to the ruminations.

P^3

The Curious Case of Steve Skojec and the Dangers of Deep Diving into the Crisis Sub-Titled: The Failings of Others

+ JMJ It's been a while now since Steve Skojec sold 1P5 and abandoned the Catholic Faith. I've been a 'Trad' since 1982 and in those 40+ years I seen this death-spiral before with a similar end point. It seems that anyone who jumps into the fray unprepared for the enormous task of righting wrongs will, eventually, become discouraged by not the task but the people who surround them. I remember when Skojec complained of the treatment his family received from a traditional priest. This seems to have been the start of the end for him. So what can we learn from the likes of Steve Skojec, Michael Voris (maybe?), Louie Verrecchio, Gerry Matatix and other celebrity Catholics? Probably quite a lot about what not to do. First, don't burn out on the crisis? When you burn out, on work or anything else, little things assume a more greater importance than they are due. This is one of my 'canary in the coal mine' signals that I've been stretching myself too thin

Thirty Days Prayer to Our Lady -

+ JMJ Providence has cast this prayer in my path twice in the last week. I decided to post it here in order to have a copy handy. P^3 Prayer Penance Patience Source Intro Prayer With the condition of affairs in the cultural, political and physical world in a state of disarray we enter Lent - Ash Wednesday - February 25th - 2004 - more compelled then ever to pursue, diligently and faithfully, our personal road to holiness. It is a long, difficult path each of us treads, however, we do know the journey can be sweeter and more blessed if we travel it with others. Jesus has told us: "Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, I am with you." And there are many other biblical passages, as well, that urge us to love and help one another. A 'Thirty Day Prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary ' was said by many Catholics during troubled times in their lives up until Vatican II. While looking through old stored away boxes, I came across a small white prayer b

Cathinfo and the 'resistance' perspective (updated with response to comment)

+ JMJ Matthew, the owner of Cathinfo - a resistance forum has posted a response to a person that indicated his reasons for continuing to go to the SSPX.

Fr. Burfitt on Fr. Pfeiffer's Attempted Consecration

+ JMJ Amidst the shadows cast by the publication of Traditionis Custodes, I am working on a map of the 'resistance' splinters to put their reaction in contrast with that of the SSPX. In the midst of this, I just came across Fr. Burfitt letter on the attempted consecration. Breaking it down (see below) items 2 and 3 are key. Just as the consecrating bishop is 'doubtful', even if he hadn't muffed the first attempt, Fr. Pfeiffer remain doubtful and therefore this impacts those men is attempts to 'ordain'. There were rumours that Fr. Pfeiffer was seeking episcopal consecration for years as he cast about for various bishops (also doubtful) to help him achieve this goal. I wonder how he convinced the 'doubtful' bishop to provide (twice) the doubtful consecration. What a mess! This creates a danger to the souls of his followers and wonder where it will end. Will he go full sede and have himself 'elected' pontiff as others have done before him

Communique about Avrille Dominicans - SSPX.org

+ JMJ Having completed the review of the 'Avrille' perspective, this communique from the French District Superior is perfectly timed. I believe that the 'resistance' has lost rationality and further argumentation simply results in their holding on to their false ideal all the more firmly. Pray much ... First, for them to acquiesce to the grace of humility in order to obtain a clear perspective on the principles involved. Second, that we may remain faithful to the Church, and Her Dogmas, Doctrines and Principles. Lest we become that which against we strove ... P^3 Courtesy of SSPX.org

Tradicat

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