Your Future Spouse (Part 3) Justice

JMJ

Asking the two question from Part 2 are probably easier than answering them ...

As a quick refresher, the two questions were:

Man asks: Is this a woman that I can love above myself, can I nourish her (I don't mean just with the basics of life) and cherish her?

Woman asks: Is this a man to whom I can respect and honour enough to willingly submit?

I believe the key will be to understanding the level of virtue that each prospective spouse possesses. (NB. from this point I'm going to list the 'prospective souse' as 'propect' ... a little sales lingo, but I don't have time to think of a better label.)

My study of the virtues culminated in this article, and I think the first place to plumb the depths is their relationship with their parents and siblings.

This falls squarely under the virtue of Justice and we can expand on it.

Justice is basically giving everyone what they deserve. A quick aside, not what we think they deserve... but what they deserve - because of their relationship with the 'prospect'.

Hints and Thoughts

Principle:

In watching the person do they demonstrate a sense of Justice, giving what respect people deserve because of their relationship with them?

Religion:

What is their demeanour at Mass?
Do they go to the Traditional Mass?
Do they have a grasp of the difference between the Novus Ordo Missae (NOM) and the Traditional Missae?
Can they understand and come to the realisation that the orientation of the NOM is man and therefore not giving its due to God?

Piety:

What are their attitude and actions like to their country and even more importantly towards their parents?
Did they have a good relationship with their parents?
Are they the children of divorce?
How is their relationship with the parent who did not have primary custody?
How about their relationship with the parent who had primary custody?
Do they have an obsession with blaming one of the parents?
Do they have to bring up some tragedy in every conversation?
Is every conversation drawn towards the challenges that they have faced and overcome? (more on this later in the series ... if I remember).
Do they respect parents because they are their parents ... or because they were 'nice' to them.
Nota Bene: This is all incredibly important because if they come from a broken home where there was huge (or even moderate strife) they will probably have a malformed notion of what it takes to be a good husband / wife.
Caveat Emptor: Tread very carefully if the prospect doesn't have a solid family experience either through the early death of a parent or divorce.

Gratitude

Are they grateful for what they have received, understanding that God has ultimately given them everything as a free gift?
Nota Bene: As noted in this article on gratitude, a Traditional Catholic who isn't grateful for the free gift granted by God will, probably, at some point become bitter and discontented. Their 'Traditionalism' isn't built upon humility, but ultimately pride. Watch out because this can lead to a particuluar narrowing of perspective which is worse than blindness because they will only see what is right in front of them (figuratively where they want to look).

Liberality

Are they generous of spirit? This is important because being a parent requires generosity!

Affability

Do they treat all people with the same kindness and respect? This is where it is important to watch how they interact with other people, who they favour with their attention, who the ignore etc.

Ok so this looks like it is negative ... and it is. Why? Because the absence of virtue is more important that its presence. A person can grow in virtue, but if the prospect has significant issues with any of these virtues, then tread lightly and carry a big Crucifix in front of which to pray if you've developed an attachment to this person.

Steal yourself to make a big sacrifice for the right reasons, and discuss your observations with someone wise who you respect and trust. Someone who has been married for a number of year with a number of children would be a good bet ... obviously your parents are a good point. Additional counselors are also good because your parents may be biased in some ways and a 4th party may help to bring perspective to the ruminations.

P^3

Facts and Opinions - An Explanation

+ JMJ When a person's assumptions are events outside of their control they form an opinion and, in my experience, assert this opinion to be fact. So ... it is important to define some terms:

The Curious Case of Steve Skojec and the Dangers of Deep Diving into the Crisis Sub-Titled: The Failings of Others

+ JMJ It's been a while now since Steve Skojec sold 1P5 and abandoned the Catholic Faith. I've been a 'Trad' since 1982 and in those 40+ years I seen this death-spiral before with a similar end point. It seems that anyone who jumps into the fray unprepared for the enormous task of righting wrongs will, eventually, become discouraged by not the task but the people who surround them. I remember when Skojec complained of the treatment his family received from a traditional priest. This seems to have been the start of the end for him. So what can we learn from the likes of Steve Skojec, Michael Voris (maybe?), Louie Verrecchio, Gerry Matatix and other celebrity Catholics? Probably quite a lot about what not to do. First, don't burn out on the crisis? When you burn out, on work or anything else, little things assume a more greater importance than they are due. This is one of my 'canary in the coal mine' signals that I've been stretching myself too thin

Morning and Evening and other sundry Prayers

+ JMJ Along the theme of P^3 (Prayer, Penance, Patience), and for my own reference ... here is a collection of Morning and Evening prayers from the Ideal Daily Missal along with some additional prayers. In this crisis of the Church, I do not think it is possible to do too much prayer, penance and have patience. P^3

Comparision of the Tridentine, Cranmer and Novus Ordo Masses

+ JMJ I downloaded the comparison that was linked in the previous article on the mass (here) . ... a very good reference! P^3 From: Whispers of Restoration (available at this link) . CHARTING LITURGICAL CHANGE Comparing the 1962 Ordinary of the Roman Mass to changes made during the Anglican Schism; Compared in turn to changes adopted in the creation of Pope Paul VI’s Mass in 1969 The chart on the reverse is a concise comparison of certain ritual differences between three historical rites for the celebration of the Catholic Mass Vetus Ordo: “Old Order,” the Roman Rite of Mass as contained in the 1962 Missal, often referred to as the “Traditional Latin Mass.”The Ordinary of this Mass is that of Pope St. Pius V (1570) following the Council of Trent (1545-63), hence the occasional moniker “Tridentine Mass.” However, Trent only consolidated and codified the Roman Rite already in use at that time; its essential form dates to Pope St. Gregory the Great (+604), in whose time the R

What the heck is a congregation of "Pontifical Right"

+ JMJ In a discussion with a friend the question occurred to me that I didn't actually know was is involved in being a religious order of 'pontifical right'. I had a vague notion that this meant they reported to Rome as opposed to the local diocese. I'm also aware that, according to the accounts I have heard, the Archbishop received 'praise' and the written direction to incardinate priests directly into the SSPX. This is interesting because it implies that the SSPX priests were no longer required to incardinate in the local diocese but in the SSPX. This is something that belongs to an order of 'pontifical right'. Anyway here's some definitions: Di diritto pontificio is the Italian term for “of pontifical right” . It is given to the ecclesiastical institutions (the religious and secular institutes, societies of apostolic life) either created by the Holy See or approved by it with the formal decree, known by its Latin name, Decretu

Tradicat

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