Your Future Spouse (Part 1)

JMJ

Assuming that the vocation of at least some of my children will be marriage, it slowly dawned upon me that it would be good to pull together some thoughts on what to look for in a spouse.

As an opener, there is something that people don't seem to do enough: Take time to talk about the facets of life that really matter.

Why? Well, because this way you'll be able to build a foundation for a Catholic Life together in accordance with the Catholic Wedding Vows: For Better for Worse ...

There are three steps in the journey to a solid lasting relationship.

The base is communication. Without this (as management gurus repeat ad nauseum) nothing can be accomplished. Frankly, they are correct and from my reading, the reason why communication is essential is that it is the enabler of forming a shared understanding of the goals, challenges and how each understand that challenges. This is the first step in making certain that both have sufficient overlap in how they understand the challenge (ie married life in the 'modern' world). If that overlap is lacking, then as the fight pilots say when in a death spiral: Eject, Eject, Eject!

Now, assuming that you've established that there is a shared understanding on the challenge of married life, the next step is coordination. The conversations should be about how they see each other working together to achieve the goals of a Catholic marriage. As long as both have a true shared understanding of marriage, then they will be able to explore and arrive at an understanding of how they will both act together as a married couple.

Finally, we arrive at the most feared aspect of a Catholic Marriage: Commitment. This is also a key to successful Catholic Marriages as when commitment is lacking when a significant unplanned obstacle that is when even Catholic marriages will fall apart. Now having the other two elements established helps to get that commitment, but it isn't necessarily one-and-done. First you have to reach commitment and then you both need to work to maintain and INCREASE that commitment. This way you'll have a reserve of commitment ready for those extra taxing events that happen throughout any and all marriages.

Finally, here's the Catholic Wedding Vows that express the commitment:

I, N., take thee, N., to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

P^3

Comments

Rome,the SSPX and this time of Crisis - Updated

+ JMJ Obviously there's lots of events right now. First we have the April 1st - I almost thought it was April Fools - meeting between Pope Francis and Bishop Fellay. Nothing really news worthy as this is a natural progression as Rome appears to be considering fulfilling Archbishop Lefebvre's wish to 'accept us as we are'. Second we have the April 8th publication of what will be a verbose exhortation of the Synod of the Family. I'm willing to bet that the Pope will give with one hand (unilateral regularization of SSPX) and take with the other (ambiguous document that opens the flood gates of sin further). Much to pray for. P^3

A Reply to Martin Blackshaw’s FLAWED Remnant article titled: FLAWED: SSPX Advice on Abortion-tainted Vaccines

+ JMJ An article has appeared in the Remnant (link to article) and I am afraid that there are a number of flaws in it that need to be addressed. The author, Martin Blackshaw, believes that both the Church and the SSPX are misapplying the principle of Moral Theology called 'Cooperation In Evil'. Unfortunately, Mr. Blackshaw rests most of his arguments on citing authors that support his position, without considering the possibility that they are wrong. This highlights a key factor in this crisis: ignorance of the faith and its application . I don't am not singling out Mr. Blackshaw for this criticism, I have observed that it applies to laity and religious, superior and subject a like. No one seems immune in this enduring crisis, myself included. I further believe that this ignorance is why so many Catholics, both traditional and non, rely on their gut feeling or "Catholic conscience" for charting their way through this crisis of the faith. While...

The Vatican and SSPX – An Organizational Culture Perspective

Introduction The recent and continuing interactions between the Vatican and the SSPX have been a great opportunity for prayer and reflection. The basis for the disagreement is theological and not liturgical. As noted by Dr. Lamont (2012), the SSPX theological position on the four key controversial aspects of the Second Vatican Council are base on prior theological work that resulted from relevant magisterial pronouncements. So it is difficult to understand the apparent rejection of the theological position of the SSPX.

SSPX and the Resistance - A Comparison Of Ecclesiology

Shining the light of Church Teaching on the doctrinal positions of the SSPX and the Resistance. Principles are guides used to aid in decision making. It stands to reason that bad principles will lead to bad decisions. The recent interactions between Rome and the SSPX has challenged a number of closely held cultural assumptions of people in both sides of the disagreement. This has resulted in cultural skirmishes in both Rome and the SSPX. Since it is the smaller of the two, the skirmishes have been more evident within the SSPX. The cultural fault-line that Bishop Fellay crossed appears to be linked to two points of Catholic Doctrine: Ecclesiology and Obedience. The cultural difference of view points is strong enough that it has resulted in the expulsion of a number of members. It should also be noted that some other priests expelled since the beginning of the latest interactions (starting in 2000) held the same view points and have joined with the l...

Rome and the SSPX - the latest

+ JMJ Bishop Fellay gave a conference late last month and provided some more insight into the situation with Rome. There are comments on Deus Ex Machina Blog and Hilary White has now entered the fray. What is one Catholic to think about all these opinions? What a Catholic is to think: With the Church! What does the Church think about obedience? Virtue as it is? If there is no proximate occasion of sin and the other conditions are met, then one cannot resist the command.

Tradicat

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