Your Future Spouse (Part 1)

JMJ

Assuming that the vocation of at least some of my children will be marriage, it slowly dawned upon me that it would be good to pull together some thoughts on what to look for in a spouse.

As an opener, there is something that people don't seem to do enough: Take time to talk about the facets of life that really matter.

Why? Well, because this way you'll be able to build a foundation for a Catholic Life together in accordance with the Catholic Wedding Vows: For Better for Worse ...

There are three steps in the journey to a solid lasting relationship.

The base is communication. Without this (as management gurus repeat ad nauseum) nothing can be accomplished. Frankly, they are correct and from my reading, the reason why communication is essential is that it is the enabler of forming a shared understanding of the goals, challenges and how each understand that challenges. This is the first step in making certain that both have sufficient overlap in how they understand the challenge (ie married life in the 'modern' world). If that overlap is lacking, then as the fight pilots say when in a death spiral: Eject, Eject, Eject!

Now, assuming that you've established that there is a shared understanding on the challenge of married life, the next step is coordination. The conversations should be about how they see each other working together to achieve the goals of a Catholic marriage. As long as both have a true shared understanding of marriage, then they will be able to explore and arrive at an understanding of how they will both act together as a married couple.

Finally, we arrive at the most feared aspect of a Catholic Marriage: Commitment. This is also a key to successful Catholic Marriages as when commitment is lacking when a significant unplanned obstacle that is when even Catholic marriages will fall apart. Now having the other two elements established helps to get that commitment, but it isn't necessarily one-and-done. First you have to reach commitment and then you both need to work to maintain and INCREASE that commitment. This way you'll have a reserve of commitment ready for those extra taxing events that happen throughout any and all marriages.

Finally, here's the Catholic Wedding Vows that express the commitment:

I, N., take thee, N., to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

P^3

Comments

The Curious Case of Steve Skojec and the Dangers of Deep Diving into the Crisis Sub-Titled: The Failings of Others

+ JMJ It's been a while now since Steve Skojec sold 1P5 and abandoned the Catholic Faith. I've been a 'Trad' since 1982 and in those 40+ years I seen this death-spiral before with a similar end point. It seems that anyone who jumps into the fray unprepared for the enormous task of righting wrongs will, eventually, become discouraged by not the task but the people who surround them. I remember when Skojec complained of the treatment his family received from a traditional priest. This seems to have been the start of the end for him. So what can we learn from the likes of Steve Skojec, Michael Voris (maybe?), Louie Verrecchio, Gerry Matatix and other celebrity Catholics? Probably quite a lot about what not to do. First, don't burn out on the crisis? When you burn out, on work or anything else, little things assume a more greater importance than they are due. This is one of my 'canary in the coal mine' signals that I've been stretching myself too th...

Communique about Avrille Dominicans - SSPX.org

+ JMJ Having completed the review of the 'Avrille' perspective, this communique from the French District Superior is perfectly timed. I believe that the 'resistance' has lost rationality and further argumentation simply results in their holding on to their false ideal all the more firmly. Pray much ... First, for them to acquiesce to the grace of humility in order to obtain a clear perspective on the principles involved. Second, that we may remain faithful to the Church, and Her Dogmas, Doctrines and Principles. Lest we become that which against we strove ... P^3 Courtesy of SSPX.org

Morning and Evening and other sundry Prayers

+ JMJ Along the theme of P^3 (Prayer, Penance, Patience), and for my own reference ... here is a collection of Morning and Evening prayers from the Ideal Daily Missal along with some additional prayers. In this crisis of the Church, I do not think it is possible to do too much prayer, penance and have patience. P^3

Tradical Commentary on: Restore DC Catholicism: SSPX And Austrilian Bishops - Two Different Errors

+ JMJ An interesting thing has happened on the discussion that prompted my article on whether it is sinful to attend the Novus Ordo Missae . The blog owner of RDCC has shut down discussion by locking the article. That is their prerogative, but I am puzzled as to why? Perhaps it has something to do with some of the latter comments. They didn't believe the teaching on intention with regards to confecting the Sacraments. This is not the first time I've experienced incredulity on this topic ( reference articles ). Really this isn't about what they believe but the truth. They seem to believe that the objections to the Novus Ordo Missae are simply about "overly delicate sensibilities". In response to this I am reblogging a number of articles by the SSPX. Perhaps it was the comment made by Bishop Schneider, a currently well revered hero (who deserved the accolades) but apparently has said something similar to the SSPX. I suspect that it is more...

A Reply to Martin Blackshaw’s FLAWED Remnant article titled: FLAWED: SSPX Advice on Abortion-tainted Vaccines

+ JMJ An article has appeared in the Remnant (link to article) and I am afraid that there are a number of flaws in it that need to be addressed. The author, Martin Blackshaw, believes that both the Church and the SSPX are misapplying the principle of Moral Theology called 'Cooperation In Evil'. Unfortunately, Mr. Blackshaw rests most of his arguments on citing authors that support his position, without considering the possibility that they are wrong. This highlights a key factor in this crisis: ignorance of the faith and its application . I don't am not singling out Mr. Blackshaw for this criticism, I have observed that it applies to laity and religious, superior and subject a like. No one seems immune in this enduring crisis, myself included. I further believe that this ignorance is why so many Catholics, both traditional and non, rely on their gut feeling or "Catholic conscience" for charting their way through this crisis of the faith. While...

Tradicat

Search This Blog