Some Principles for Managing Confrontations

JMJ

A few weeks ago I witnessed the evolution of a confrontation, in real-time.

The speaker had just finished a 2+ hour session including presentations / exercises (yes there were some breaks) and opened the floor to questions.

The first question from the floor pointed out (obliquely) a potential way to improve the system that was presented. While the question could have been presented better, it is the response that set the stage for the confrontation.

The presenter immediately became defensive and continued in 'tell' mode. Telling his interlocutor that decisions had been made.

... and he missed both the point and the opportunity.

The point was that the person posing the question was uncomfortable with the means being employed to achieve an end.

Everyone in the room seemed to be in full agreement that the ends were worth achieving. It was some elements of the means being used to achieve those ends that rubbed some people the wrong way.

Sorry for being vague on details, but I want to focus on the underlying principles for the confrontation and not the actual material.

So here's a couple of principles for managing confrontations:

Offense is not given, it is offered. Like an item placed on a table in front of you, it is up to you to decide whether or not to take it or leave it.
Ask questions to understand and clarify what was said.
Re paraphrase what was said to ensure that you have understood it.
Avoid the use of the words:

You
Why
However
But

Don't point you hand (or any other sharp instrument).

In a heated argument (or even simmering one), it is difficult to keep this together, but practice makes perfect.

P^3

Comments

Hermeneutic of the Hermeneutic of Continuity - sspx.org

+ JMJ Since I'm looking at the 'four things', I thought this article would be good. Unfortunately, with the new SSPX.org website, I've been unable to locate the original article. This is a copy the I emailed to myself. This is an article that, I believe, was written in response to a conference given by Msgr. Pozzo. P^3

SSPX and the Resistance - A Comparison Of Ecclesiology

Shining the light of Church Teaching on the doctrinal positions of the SSPX and the Resistance. Principles are guides used to aid in decision making. It stands to reason that bad principles will lead to bad decisions. The recent interactions between Rome and the SSPX has challenged a number of closely held cultural assumptions of people in both sides of the disagreement. This has resulted in cultural skirmishes in both Rome and the SSPX. Since it is the smaller of the two, the skirmishes have been more evident within the SSPX. The cultural fault-line that Bishop Fellay crossed appears to be linked to two points of Catholic Doctrine: Ecclesiology and Obedience. The cultural difference of view points is strong enough that it has resulted in the expulsion of a number of members. It should also be noted that some other priests expelled since the beginning of the latest interactions (starting in 2000) held the same view points and have joined with the l...

Rome,the SSPX and this time of Crisis - Updated

+ JMJ Obviously there's lots of events right now. First we have the April 1st - I almost thought it was April Fools - meeting between Pope Francis and Bishop Fellay. Nothing really news worthy as this is a natural progression as Rome appears to be considering fulfilling Archbishop Lefebvre's wish to 'accept us as we are'. Second we have the April 8th publication of what will be a verbose exhortation of the Synod of the Family. I'm willing to bet that the Pope will give with one hand (unilateral regularization of SSPX) and take with the other (ambiguous document that opens the flood gates of sin further). Much to pray for. P^3

Unhinged Catholics ... are they on the right path? How would you know? (Updated 2x with Response to Comments)

+ JMJ (Originally Published Sept 7, 2019, Updated July 30, 2022, Updated August 13, 2022) Based on Pope Francis' latest selections for Cardinals, the Church appears to be in deep winter. Just to be clear, I don't mean a Florida winter, I mean a Canadian winter. In the last 35+ years as a Trad, I've seen my fair share of Catholics suffering from, and dying of, mental and spiritual hypothermia. When a Catholic pours themselves into the 'fight', neglects their spiritual life, doesn't deepen their understanding of the Catholic Faith, then there is a good chance that they will become embittered, frustrated, and angry. With their narrowed perspectives they risk being blindsided and smacked in the head with a metaphorical 2x4. Just look at the headlines on canon212 for some examples. Here's some others: "Diabolically Disoriented" Michael Matt Reveals His True Colors as a Pied Piper Leading "Traditionalists" (i.e., real Cat...

Rome and the SSPX - the latest

+ JMJ Bishop Fellay gave a conference late last month and provided some more insight into the situation with Rome. There are comments on Deus Ex Machina Blog and Hilary White has now entered the fray. What is one Catholic to think about all these opinions? What a Catholic is to think: With the Church! What does the Church think about obedience? Virtue as it is? If there is no proximate occasion of sin and the other conditions are met, then one cannot resist the command.

Tradicat

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