Some Principles for Managing Confrontations

JMJ

A few weeks ago I witnessed the evolution of a confrontation, in real-time.

The speaker had just finished a 2+ hour session including presentations / exercises (yes there were some breaks) and opened the floor to questions.

The first question from the floor pointed out (obliquely) a potential way to improve the system that was presented. While the question could have been presented better, it is the response that set the stage for the confrontation.

The presenter immediately became defensive and continued in 'tell' mode. Telling his interlocutor that decisions had been made.

... and he missed both the point and the opportunity.

The point was that the person posing the question was uncomfortable with the means being employed to achieve an end.

Everyone in the room seemed to be in full agreement that the ends were worth achieving. It was some elements of the means being used to achieve those ends that rubbed some people the wrong way.

Sorry for being vague on details, but I want to focus on the underlying principles for the confrontation and not the actual material.

So here's a couple of principles for managing confrontations:

Offense is not given, it is offered. Like an item placed on a table in front of you, it is up to you to decide whether or not to take it or leave it.
Ask questions to understand and clarify what was said.
Re paraphrase what was said to ensure that you have understood it.
Avoid the use of the words:

You
Why
However
But

Don't point you hand (or any other sharp instrument).

In a heated argument (or even simmering one), it is difficult to keep this together, but practice makes perfect.

P^3

Comments

Auctorem Fidei

Can the SSPX be right about the Novus Ordo? Revision: Feb 11, 2013 On another web forum, I was engaged in a rather heated discussion about the documents of Vatican II.

Morning and Evening and other sundry Prayers

+ JMJ Along the theme of P^3 (Prayer, Penance, Patience), and for my own reference ... here is a collection of Morning and Evening prayers from the Ideal Daily Missal along with some additional prayers. In this crisis of the Church, I do not think it is possible to do too much prayer, penance and have patience. P^3

Catholic Culture - The Edgar Schein Model Analysis of the Pre and Post Conciliar Culture

+ JMJ So ... I was thinking ... I've used Edgar Schein's (RIP) organizational cultural model (link ) in my research ... why not apply it in a comparison between the Catholic Organizational Culture - PRE and POST Second Vatican Culture? Of course, this will be from my own perspective, I'm certain that others will think differently. 😁 Also, apologies for a rather long article. Graphic: https://mutomorro.com/edgar-scheins-culture-model/ Below is a quick mapping of the cultural factors that I could think of. Since the Church is vast and composed of millions of Souls, it is necessarily a limited cultural map. Yet, I think it will still be useful to assess what has changed since the Second Vatican Council. Additional Reading: 5 enduring management ideas from MIT Sloan’s Edgar Schein | MIT Sloan Artifacts Artifacts are tangible and observable aspects of the culture being examined. All organizations have them. Walmart has their Walmart chant, Charismatics have their spe

Is it sinful to attend the Novus Ordo (New Mass) - Is it Sinful to Not Attend the Novus Ordo on Sunday?

+ JMJ A non-SSPX Catholic is upset over the SSPX statements on not attending the Novus Ordo Missae. Ladies and gentlemen, what the SSPX, or at least its website editor, is advocating is a mortal sin against the Third Commandment. Unless the priest deviates from the language of the Sacramentary, the consecration, and thus the rest of Mass is to be considered valid. No one may elect not to attend Mass simply because abuses are occurring therein. Might I suggest that such absenteeism is its own abuse? The Third Commandment binds under mortal sin. Father So-And-So from the SSPX has no authority whatsoever to excuse attendance at Mass, be that Mass ever so unpalatable. Source:Restore DC Catholicism Well, this is interesting. First why does the SSPX issue this statement? Because it is sinful to put your faith in danger by attending a protestant service. It is likewise dangerous to put your faith in danger by attending a protestantized mass (ie the Novus Ordo Missae

Holy Ghost vs Holy Spirit

+ JMJ Something that always and I do mean always causes me to cringe interiourly is when non-Trad Catholics use the words "Holy Spirit" instead of "Holy Ghost". First, this is a natural response because of long usage of "Holy Ghost" as soon as I hear the word "Holy" in a prayer, my brain automatically is prepped to hear "Ghost" afterwards. This creates a short period of interiour dissonance (discomfort). Now the question I would like to ponder today is whether or not there is a difference and whether or not there is a right way vs wrong way.

Tradicat

Search This Blog