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A little Christmas and COVID Humour

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By
 +
JMJ

 

 A letter that appeared on our fridge on or about Dec 25, 2020.


P^3

 

 Dear Mr. Stalker Santa,

I have been good:

  1. All year,
  2. These last few days,
  3. Ha!

Circle one of the above. Choose wisely as I wish to add your answer to my school paper on important people: Santa. But, enough about that.

How have you been?  How has your diet been going? I hear that the "cookies & cream" diet is a popular one. 

This year, I wish to ask you multiple things:

First, is "Santa"  just your superhero identity? If so, what is your actual identity, and what made you call yourself "Santa"?? Are you Donald Trump? If this question bothers you, I promise I will keep it a secret. No one will know, except you, me, my 9+ siblings, their friends and whoever reads the school reports at school (Tradicat: plus readers of this blog 😀) ... but other than that select group, secret safe!

Question #2 (or 5 or 6 ...): Will you be coming this Christmas, even with the whole Covid thingy?  You'll probably not go to the mall, but this is why I'm writing this letter!

Now for the things I want:

  1. I am once again asking for a network of tunnels underneath Canada.  I didn't get it last year, sooooooo...
  2. I wish to have a cheetah cub, so that I can raise it in domestic settings.
  3. An amusement park for me and my family.
  4. Solar panels!
  5. An aeroplane, along with a users manual.
  6. A huuuuge zipline!!!!
  7. A life long warranty on a pair of flying wings.
  8. A genie.
  9. A motorcycle.
  10. A yacht.
  11. A get-away-cabin in the Rocky Mountains.
  12. A library with three levels, and slides in between each floor.
  13. Bilinguality (or trilinguality) ... whatever you have in stock.
  14. Invisibility.
  15. The ability to walk on vertical surfaces.
  16. The capability to knowing what is deadly.
  17. A better Prime Minister for Canada.
  18. I don't know get creative 😉.

For all of the above, I expect the real thing. 

Oh, another thing I wish to ask:

How old do you look? (NB: This was written backwards in the original)

Consider the answer to the first one carefully, and answer the second one truthfully!

Another question: Are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolf really your reindeer?  If so, how did that happen?! Also, are they mutated to make them fly?  Don't say they're magic, because I don't consider that an appropriate answer. Everything nowadays are based on science!!!

Puzzled Greatly
and Expectantly waiting
 
<Name Withheld>



 


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