An aspect of heated religious discussions: Psychological Projection

JMJ

In some heated discussions with ntCatholics (non-Traditional Catholics), my wife and I noticed that our interlocutors would accuse us of a particular action or fault. A fault that, upon later reflection, we relaised they were themselves guilty.

This behaviour has a name: Psychological Projection.

Here's an excerpt from the Wikipedia article:

Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.^[1] For example, a person who is habitually intolerant may constantly accuse other people of being intolerant. It incorporates blame shifting.

As noted, in my experience, in the heat of the moment, we don't usually realise that a person is 'projecting' a behaviour on us. Everytime that I've realised that this was happening it was after the discussion ... or after a series of discussions.

This is similar to a behaviour that I've noted in people diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Nothing is their fault, everyone else is to blame.

So now that you know that 'projection' is a thing, how do you deal with it?

An excellent question.

Here's my thoughts:

Stay calm during arguments and try to stay 'above' the drama.

In some cases there will be anger, lashing out . Look at the bigger picture. This should be easier if you've had a number of discussions with the person.

Point out the facts to the individual.

This may or may not work. If the person has a strong belief (see cognitive dissonance) they are going to go to great lengths to protect their perception of reality.

Watch for patterns in the discussion.

This is where it is helpful to have a series of discussions. In cases where we successfully realized that 'projection' was at play, the discussions were over a period of weeks or even months.

Watch for wild accusations violent 'thrown' at you like verbal darts.

The goal seems to be to put you off balance. Take a breath and ask the following question: I don't understand, what prompted that question / accusation.
You'll probably need to probe a number of times to get to the real reasons (5 why's might help and here's another article Root Cause Analysis 5 Whys). Although, to avoid a defensive reaction, I suggest rephrasing the question without the word "WHY".

Just some thoughts!

P^3

Comments

Is it sinful to attend the Novus Ordo (New Mass) - Is it Sinful to Not Attend the Novus Ordo on Sunday?

+ JMJ A non-SSPX Catholic is upset over the SSPX statements on not attending the Novus Ordo Missae. Ladies and gentlemen, what the SSPX, or at least its website editor, is advocating is a mortal sin against the Third Commandment. Unless the priest deviates from the language of the Sacramentary, the consecration, and thus the rest of Mass is to be considered valid. No one may elect not to attend Mass simply because abuses are occurring therein. Might I suggest that such absenteeism is its own abuse? The Third Commandment binds under mortal sin. Father So-And-So from the SSPX has no authority whatsoever to excuse attendance at Mass, be that Mass ever so unpalatable. Source:Restore DC Catholicism Well, this is interesting. First why does the SSPX issue this statement? Because it is sinful to put your faith in danger by attending a protestant service. It is likewise dangerous to put your faith in danger by attending a protestantized mass (ie the Novus Ordo Missae

Regarding Post: Fr. Joseph Pfeiffer no longer ... now Bishop Joseph Pfeiffer (Can't see this being a problem...)

+ JMJ I've been watching the popularity of the post about Fr. Pfeiffer's attempted episcopal consecration and its continued top listing on the 'popular posts' list at the bottom of posts. After some thought, I decided that I don't want to be responsible for anyone joining Fr. Pfeiffer's 'group', however unlikely that would be at this time. So I have reverted the article to the draft state. If anyone wants it reinstated, I would ask that they comment on this post with a rationale for reinstatement. P^3

Morning and Evening and other sundry Prayers

+ JMJ Along the theme of P^3 (Prayer, Penance, Patience), and for my own reference ... here is a collection of Morning and Evening prayers from the Ideal Daily Missal along with some additional prayers. In this crisis of the Church, I do not think it is possible to do too much prayer, penance and have patience. P^3

The Vatican and SSPX – An Organizational Culture Perspective

Introduction The recent and continuing interactions between the Vatican and the SSPX have been a great opportunity for prayer and reflection. The basis for the disagreement is theological and not liturgical. As noted by Dr. Lamont (2012), the SSPX theological position on the four key controversial aspects of the Second Vatican Council are base on prior theological work that resulted from relevant magisterial pronouncements. So it is difficult to understand the apparent rejection of the theological position of the SSPX.

Auctorem Fidei

Can the SSPX be right about the Novus Ordo? Revision: Feb 11, 2013 On another web forum, I was engaged in a rather heated discussion about the documents of Vatican II.

Tradicat

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